I asked myself';
What if I declined the offer going to Shah Alam in the first place?

There would have been A LOT OF CHANGES now.

Before I go into details, I would like to tell a story behind the offer. The offer that I got was a fast track programme from which only opened for Diploma students during that time. I was so excited that I got the offer in the first place, where I can just go back to my home and meet my mum as often as I could. Eventually, it did not turn out to be what I had expected. I expected my life would be easier as soon as I get back home. I expected I would meet my mum always. I expected my life as a student would be better. I expected I would ease the burden of my father that had spent on my expenses and flight tickets.

No, they all didn't.

I put so much expectations that turned out to be such a disappointment to me. However, I told myself, that is life. The cycle of life would not always at the top, and it would also not always be at the bottom. The reason why I posted this up because I, as a human being, blind enough to see what kind of future awaits me.

I applied a scholarship two years ago. The result came in but I did not get it. I was so upset because I worked so hard for it. It was hard for me to accept it but after a while, I just... kind of be happy and grateful of what I get now. I may not get it now, who knows in future, Allah SWT would give me even better. I even had to work hard to get an iPhone. Some of my friends would simply ask from their parents for an iPhone, my dad is not that kind of parents. He wants me to feel how hard to earn money with my own sweat; really worth it. I learned it the hard way.

Before I knew my boy, I was with this guy who had been my friend for years but it did not seem to work out very well. We lived very far apart from each other and no doubt, I could think what sort of things he could do behind me. I mean, who knows? I honestly could not stand of long distance relationship as it would always turned out to be short term relationship. I date, with a hope that I can stay long with the person, not to play around. I may not be perfect but I would try my best to stay, to be able to make the person happy with me.

I may not see the good side of taking this opportunity in the first place. However, if I did not take the offer, I may not;

be able to get a job and earn my own money;
be able to buy a phone for myself;
be able to meet him;
be able to maintain dean's list;
be able to get a car;
be able to make new friends;
be able to see what degree life feels like;
last but not least, be able to survive having 2 years relationship.

I complained so much about what I have been through, yet I did not realised how much Allah SWT cares about me. Syukran Alhamdullilah, I should have said that earlier.

Remember, if you are having a hard time now, you must think that this is somekind of a test given by Allah SWT. Ujian Allah SWT bukan sahaja diuji dengan memberi dugaan, but can also be tested by nikmat yg Allah SWT berikan. We may complain a lot, but complaining does not help us.

Be grateful and say, Alhamdulillah.



Photograph by Ailbhe O' Donnell

As we all age through time, I believe all of us are facing changes in their lives. Anyway, I was looking and reading all my old posts back then and to be honest, it was soooo lame but I really fond of my old memories.

As most of you know, I am 21 years old this year. Yep, 21.

Back when I was 19 and half, I was working as a part-time barista. I worked to earn some money to buy some stuffs. During the time that I worked, I learned how to communicate, talk with people as most people claimed that I was very, very quiet girl. I talked randomly with the customers, such as where do they come from or where do they work, but I did enjoy myself talking to foreigners, most of the customers are from Australia, Saudi Arabia and Korea. I also enjoyed having conversation with regular customers, most of them were foreigners who lived in Malaysia for years and they love to be here.

Other than that, I have learned how life is getting harder as we get old. As we get old, we need to work on our own to earn money, I can no longer ask for money pockets from my parents if I want to buy anything. Even when I go to college, I can only ask money to pay my rent, for my car monthly payment, and to pay petrol. Yes, that's it. In case of short of money, I would ask them if I need some. This teaches me how to be more independent, and not depending on them. I see kids these days are easily get what they want. I mean, seriously, 7 years old owns an iPhone. For what? Even some parents, no, A LOT OF PARENTS allow their babies/kids to play their tabs.

In my opinion, if they get close to technology stuffs, they would not enjoy their childhood. Back in my days, when I was small, I used to be called as 'weird' because I did weird stuffs, for example, I poured lots of baby powders on top of table and poured water to it to make it into flour-like. I was playing 'masak-masak' with my little sister. Other than that, there was one time where I went to my dad's hometown, I did 'mini house/farm' with bunch of woods for horses because I REALLY WANTED TO HAVE HORSES OR PONIES, although in real life, I did not own one. Hmm. What else? My parents, especially my dad, scolded me for putting my handphone beside me when I wanna go to sleep.

That is one part of being an adult; independent. Although they only lend some money on certain things but I realised that they want me to learn that how hard work pays off. That's how you earn money. Unless you are rich. Nothing in this world is free. I thanked them for that. 

Ok, I think it's enough to talk about that, and I'm sorry if you guys get offended by this because it is just my opinion. This is random post and Insya-Allah, I would post more after this.

(Current song: Kalau Aku Kaya by Altimet and Awi Rafael)



I'm back!

Credit to Tumblr

After 8 months since the last update, I have decided to update this blog.

It's 2013 and this year would be the busiest year since I had practical training twice in a year. Additionally, I'm in my fifth semester and I would be starting on brainstorming for my dissertation (thesis). It would be a lots of paperwork to do, assignments and reports.

Honestly, this is how my 2013 schedule looks like:

Mid January - End February
Practical Training

March - Mid July
Forth semester

Mid July - Early September
Practical Training

Early September - January 2014
Fifth Semester
- Dissertation

Hectic, I know.

Anyways, I have been watching youtube. Watching about girls' stuffs on make ups, hauls, hijab and even boyfriend tag that I recently discovered a youtuber that she has been with her boyfriend for 7 years. I mean, that's WOW. But anyway, it was interesting to see her doing Boyfriend Tag video which she asked some bunch of questions to her boyfriend about her or him. So, I was thinking that it would be interesting to make one. Haha! I don't know but InsyaAllah, maybe a quick short video would do.

See you next time! :)


Things I like.

While I was browsing the net, looking for clothes online, this sudden idea came to me, thought I should blog. Yes, I am bored at this very hour. It's 5:17 a.m. in the morning and I haven't sleep yet. Of course, as you can see the title above. I'm going to tell you something I like or things I like to do, or whatsoever.

First and for most, I'm obsessed with cats. I can't go a day without watching cats on youtube or 9gag. They are the best stress reliever. I just don't know why. Even when I go to Mamak restaurants, if a cat came up to me, I would always offer him/her food. My bestfriend once taught me not to waste any leftovers, just give them to cats. Because membazir itu amalan syaitan. Recently, a ginger cat came up and she was actually putting up her paw gently on me. As if she knew that I couldn't finish up my food. Yes, I'm a cat lover, I'm truly am.

Second, I love wearing cardigans or pullovers, but most of the time, I would like to go out with cardigan, especially the one with dark colours, soft knitted or with viscose type of fabric. One of my favourite cardigans (I wear it everyday) is grey knitted cardigan from Uniqlo and it costs me about RM99.00. Ain't that cheap but worth every penny.

Third, I love to drink coffee, particularly hot caramel macchiato or hot caramel cappuccino. Yes, I'm a coffee drinker but I need to control myself not to drink coffee so often because it's not good for health. So, my new year resolution is that I need to less drink coffee and drink more water. Or maybe, I shall go for decaffeinated coffee.

These are my top three things I like and things I like to do. So, I'm pretty much busy and stressed out with final exam and I hope I could blog more after this.

Take care.